The
Beginning
The Land
of Gallahan has a dark history, a tale of blood and conquest. It started in the
Dead Teeth Mountains, a mountain range to the north of the kingdom, the summits of which are said to be unclimbable. A young man climbed in the rain, through
the hail and the snow until he came to the pass that would lead down into the
Kingdom of Gallahan. He had travelled farther than any of his people, except
from the one who had told him the way. He was bloody and torn but it seemed
worth it to him as he was half way there, he was sixteen years old, his skin
was dark and his head was shaved. He wore ragged clothes with nothing but a
knife and bow, he smiled and began his descent into the kingdom. He shivered
not from the cold winds of the altitude but from his building excitement. His
destiny was there in the distance all he had to do was find it. He would go all
the way nothing would stop him in this quest.
“What’s
the hold up?” Tregar called from the seat of his wagon at the back of his goods
caravan, Tregar travelled with his wagons filled with goods from city to city
selling his wares and buying more to sell in other cities. The fact that his
caravan was filled with goods made him nervous when it was held up. He
nodded to one of his guards on horseback who rode forward to the front of the
caravan, in the distance Tregar thought he could see the workers throwing
something on the guards horse then he saw the rider turn the horse and ride
back at full gallop when he pulled his horse up next to Tregar's wagon,
“This boy
was in the middle of the road sir.” he said nodding down to his lap where an
unconscious boy lay. Tregar looked down at the boy, he had dark tanned skin and
he was bleeding from a gash on his head,
“Put him
in the back and get the healers." Tregar ordered, "Did you see anyone
else about?”
“There
are two dead bodies, bandits by the look of them. It looked like the boy put up
a hell of a fight but i found no weapon on him. There are tracks of another
heading to the east.” the guard answered.
Suddenly
the boys eyes shot open and he shouted out in a strange tongue that Tregar
didn’t understand. He looked at his guard to see if he recognised the tongue
but he looked as confused as Tregar did, the boy looked at their confused
faces, then frowned and said in heavily accented king’s tongue, “Ver am I?”
”Found
you on the king’s highway, west of Pinex city.” The guard said,
“Corinthia?”
the boy asked groaning as he gently touched his wound,
“You’re
in luck my boy.” Tregar said, “This is my caravan and we are bound for
Corinthia, I am Tregar who are you?”
“Vawt is
a caravan?” the boy asked sluggishly as he tried to remain conscious,
“We take
goods from a city and sell them in another city. What is your name?” Tregar
asked again,
“I am
Shimla. Can you take me to Cori...inth..ia?” he asked passing out before Tregar
could reply.
"Put
him in the back of the wagon." Tregar grumbled. Shimla awoke once he had
been bundled into the back of the wagon and heard Tregar talking,
“I don’t
care! He wakes up and does some work or we leave him by the road! I’m not a
charity.”
A dark
shadow passed over Shimla’s face and his features held a malice that was not
there but a moment ago. He lay back down and smiled again. In his native tongue
he whispered,
“Nothing
will stop me.”
Shimla
pushed open the two large doors and walked into the dark chamber confidently.
He looked around a large hall and saw seven men sitting round a large table,
all were elderly and wearing robes, they looked up at the unexpected visitor as
he stood staring at them.
“Who are
you?” One asked, in a gruff annoyed voice, as if being disturbed was an insult.
“I am one
who vants to learn.” Shimla replied, calmly and respectful.
The men
smirked and another one stood and said, “Many wish to learn boy, but it’s not
something to learn you must have power now I'm sorry…”
Shimla
threw his hand out and all the lit torches flared and then the flames flew to his
hand so all the torch flames formed a large ball of fire in Shimla’s hand he
grimaced as he struggled to keep from burning his hand. The old men watched in
silence each staring at the fire. One reached his hand out and the flame flowed
to his hand like it was water he elegantly tossed the flames in the air and
they flowed smoothly back to the torches.
“What is
your name?” he asked,
“I am
Shimla.”
“That’s a
strange name, where are you from?”
“Beyond
the VarVarden. The mountains to the north.”
“The Dead
Teeth?”
Shimla
smiled nodding as he absentmindedly adjusted the clothes he was wearing, that
looked surprisingly like Tregar's outfit.
Shimla
studied in the Golgotha for five years with the mage's learning how to harness
his powers he even travelled around some of the west. Before long he realised
his powers far outstripped his fellow students this led to their resentment, so
he spent all his free time in the great library or badgering his elder with
questions. Doran the elder, charged with the care and education of Shimla had
become increasingly more worried, the boy was prone to terrible moods, when he
was younger they were few and far between but as the years had passed his moods
seemed to be mostly bad. When these moods left him he was a quiet respectful
boy but when he was in a foul mood he argued with many elders and students
alike. Doran became worried when Shimla had not been seen in three days and
decided it was best if he sought him out. After a lengthy search he found
Shimla in the deepest corner of the library where every inch was covered in
dust, he was bent over reading an ancient scroll intently and next to him was
another student who sat upright in a chair looking petrified, on an inkling
Doran quietly and carefully reached out his senses to the student and realised
a spell had him trapped to the chair and his mouth forced closed. Doran could
see the hunger in Shimla’s eyes as he read. Doran looked at his apprentice and
saw a different person from the boy he knew, his skin that used to be dark was
getting paler by the day, and his features seemed sharper especially his brow
and his ears. Suddenly Shimla leaned back and laughed, it was not the laugh of
the boy who had come to the Galgorin all those years ago. Doran was saddened by
this and sighed. Shimla suddenly jumped to his feet and spun around. A fireball
erupted into life in his hand and with a flick of his wrists it flew like
flaming bird into the shadows, it was deflected as Doran stepped into the
light.
“I was
unaware that my master had taken to lurking in shadows.” Shimla said coldly.
The word master was filled with contempt.
“I was
also unaware you had taken to trying to kill anyone who disturbed you.” Then
when Shimla made no excuse for his actions Doran said, “Something has changed
in you Shimla. What is it that consumes you?”
Shimla
smiled moving slowly round the table to stand at the shoulder of the trapped
student and said, “History just history, Doran. It has taken me four years to
find the information in that scroll.” Doran noted the informal use of his name
but ignored it. Shimla obviously did not consider Doran his master anymore.
“What
information took so long searching? Could you not have asked me?” the old mage
asked.
“You
would not have told me if you knew at all which is doubtful.” Doran looked down
at the scroll and frowned, “This is very dark magic Shimla…”
“If you
say so, Doran” Shimla smiled,
“And why
is our friend here?” Doran asked indicating the other student,
The magic
requires a sacrifice…” Shimla said as suddenly Doran spun blazing lightning
down on the spot where Shimla was standing a second before but he had spun around
on the spot and disappeared the instant the lightning reached him. Doran turned
and destroyed the trapping spell, “Get out of here!” the student ran for the
open door but he was suddenly thrown back by invisible hands and sprawled on
the floor.
"Shimla! Listen to me, please! The Drakn are not what you think they..." Doran called spinning around desperately searching for his protégé.
"Shimla! Listen to me, please! The Drakn are not what you think they..." Doran called spinning around desperately searching for his protégé.
“You are
but nothing to me now.” Was whispered in Doran’s ear from directly behind him.
It was the last thing he ever heard. Doran was lifted in the air by an
invisible force and slammed into the ceiling knocking him unconscious but he
did not fall, Shimla was not looking at him but at the scroll on the table that
had made Doran turn on him, his two hands were in the air magically holding
Doran. Shimla smiled as he walked over to the student who struggled frantically
on to get to his feet.
“One
sacrifice is good…” he drew his hands apart, there was a wet sounding tearing
noise and blood rained down on Shimla and the Student who screamed as Shimla
released his magical hold and the two halves of Doran fell to the ground. He
stared up into the cruel eyes of Shimla with his tear filled ones as Shimla
said, “Two is better!”
The
student screamed as Shimla tore him apart. Shimla smiled and turned and
hurriedly he grabbed the parchments from the desk he had been studying at and
fled, fled Corinthia and the rest of the kingdom as well. Shimla
disappeared back to the land beyond the mountains knowing it was the safest
place to begin his plan. The mage’s sent mercenaries after him to avenge Doran
but none were ever seen again.
Ten years
later Shimla returned to the kingdom of Gallahan, almost unrecognisable as
Shimla the apprentice. He had renamed himself Mor'draed the Drakn'heart King. His brow was low and sharper, his ears were now pointed
like an elf of the old tales and his skin was an almost green colour. His eyes
were the most striking difference the iris and the white of his eyes where now
completely black, as if he had two coals instead of eyes. And together with the
plaited beard now on his chin and his shaved head save the circle at his crown
that was tied back and long he looked truly fearsome to behold. He rode under a
black banner bearing the Drakn'heart at the head of an army
of thirty thousand barbarian men from the land to the north called Dourgals. A
monstrous war followed between the Drak’nheart and the Kingdom of Gallahan. The
King of Gallahan Roland Gala sent the western armies against the invaders led
by his brother Arter. Mordred's campaign into the kingdom lasted ten months
killing ten thousand men (it would later come to be called the ten-fold war).
Each time the king’s men marched against the Dourgals and looked as though they
would win a battle, Mordred himself would enter the fray and use his powers to
sweep away the soldiers of the west. He was a fearsome warrior and with his
abilities he became deadly none who face Mordred survived. In the tenth month
of the war Mor'draed’s men had reached the city of Pinex on the border of the
west and east of Gallahan and Roland had no choice. He marched the eastern
armies to join his brother Prince Arter who had command of the west. It was at
this time The Galgorin came forward to the King with a plan, for they felt
responsible for the situation as they had been responsible for Shimla’s
training.
It was at
this time Mor'draed reached the city of Pinex. They held siege for three weeks
before breaching the wall. So angry was he that it had taken three weeks that
he ordered the city destroyed, as his orders were being carried out the armies
of the east and west arrived and charged, Roland at the lead. Roland rode a
cavalry charge at the foot soldiers of Mor'draed. They broke through and the
battle began. The king was knocked from his horse but fought gallantly. Then he
saw Mor'draed drop from the black mountain stallion he rode. He was bare-chested
and walking unafraid of injury, the reason was apparent as a kingdom man jumped
at him with a downward slash. What Roland saw made his mouth drop, Armour
erupted from the Drakn'heart king’s skin covering his chest
and forearms he blocked the blow with his forearm and stabbed the soldier with
one of the two black short swords to match his armour that hung from his hips.
It was at this time King Roland II fell, so amazed by Mor'draed was he that a
young Dourgal thrust forward with his scimitar and cut down the King. As
Mor'draed walked through the battle dealing death by blade and by curse he found
Baal leader of the Galgorin in front of him He was a brave man, he knew that
facing Mor'draed was a death sentence.
“Hail
Shimla that was.”
Mor'draed
turned to face the leader of the Galgorin
“Baal…”
Mor'draed sneered closing his eyes and sending out his senses, “Why are there ten
mage's circling me? Scared to face me alone Baal? Eleven mage's against one?”
“We took
you in! We taught you…”
“No you
did not. My teacher taught me all my magic before any of you were born! He set
my feet on this path not you!”
“You are
a monster!” another mage called,
“Nay I’m
a god!” He shrieked, “You will all bow to me as it was before it shall be
again! None of you are able to defeat me! ”
“No we
can’t… but together… NOW!” they all cast their spells at the same time the
light was so bright as flame, lightning and pure energy surged at Mor'draed that
the fighting stopped as each fighter was blinded, but when it cleared Mor'draed
was standing up laughing so cold and loud everyone on the battlefield knew
fear.
“My
turn.” He growled,
“No it
isn’t.” Baal said as a white light surrounded him, as it did with the other
mages, Mor'draed cast a spell but it failed. And another and another.
“What is
happening?!” Mor'draed shrieked,
"So
arrogant Shimla, you thought we were no threat! You never sensed them did
you?" Baal screamed at him as the light encasing each mage grew stronger.
"Every mage of the Galgorin are here! They lend us their power!"
"NO!
You can’t defeat me! You are nothing!"
“You are
wrong. We are something, Shimla, we are your cage. We are your prison we take
you to the depths! You are done Mor'draed!”
Mor'draed
lunged at them but his swords disappeared as they closed on him he screamed as
his armour disappeared also, suddenly there was a blast so strong many fighters
were blown off their feet. Mor'draed and the other mages were gone. The kingdom
men cheered and filled with renewed hope they attacked they Dourgals fiercely.
Without Mor'draed’s magic the kingdom men’s superior training easily drove their
invaders back. Some of the army fled Pinex as soon as Mordred fell, the others
where drove back until they broke and retreated. The kings Eldest son passed a
law that any Dourgal found in the kingdom from that day forward was to be
hunted and killed lest they cause more mischief in the kingdom. The Galgorin
developed a military branch of its mage's called the Insindium which sole
responsibility was to hunt and kill any dark mage's. Things would be very different
in the kingdom…
*
*
*
A nice read, found a few things that didn't make sense to me but i see those points have been resolved. Ill get to chapter one soon and see were you are going in this story.
ReplyDeleteGood read so far, looking forward to reading more, deep seeded revenge from an early age, coined with unadulterated rage and magic the would make Gandalph look like Harry Potters spanish house-maid, Shimla,...kickin ass ,..not taking names
ReplyDeleteI liked it and am intrested in reading more, not usually my kind of story, I am intreguied to know how shimla got his powers and how he can be defeated, reminds me of the lord of the rings with the names and places which is good as I liked the lord of the rings trilogy, looking forward to reading more, well done I can hardly write a shopping list :-D
ReplyDeletewell done looks good :) wish u lots of luck in ur venture :)
ReplyDeleteI loved reading this i loved Shimla!
ReplyDeletev.interesting, cant wait to read more. Well done.
ReplyDeleteVery well written story. Great ideas and look forward to seeing more from this story
ReplyDeletenteresting read so far looking forward to future chapters
ReplyDeleteYour prologue is very interesting. I know its a little random, but one of the best things about a story is the names you create. Your character and location names are fantastic!! I'm really excited to see where your story goes from here!
ReplyDeleteHaven't read it yet cause reading on the PC is awful, but made an e-book version of it so I'll check it out and comment later.
ReplyDeleteSince I'm a pretty cool guy, here's the link for anyone who's after an e-book version:
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/72980427/Land%20of%20Gallahan%20-%20Shaun%20Mills.epub
Cheers man. :D
DeleteInteresting read, done well introducing the story. looking forward to reading through the rest.
ReplyDeleteDM
As far as the narrative goes, this is a great opening to a dark fantasy. You were able to pack in a great deal of information, and in most places it works fine. However, certain passages, like Shimla making his first kill, reads a little verbose. The dialogue in certain spots is unnecessary if you're informing me of history relevant to the entire narrative. In fact, I think this would work better without any dialogue and a straight historical account of Shimla's rise to power and fall from glory. Aside from that, there are quite a few grammatical and punctuation issues that would need to be addressed prior to publishing.
ReplyDeleteInteresting prologue. I'm glad Shimla didn't kill the king personally. That's a trope that always bothers me.
ReplyDelete